Rivoluzione!

Vi siete mai chiesti se la vita che state vivendo è sul serio all'altezza di essere vissuta?

Leggo la storia di Mandela nel suo libro “Long Walk to Freedom” e mi chiedo se la mia di vita è all'altezza di essere vissuta o se manchi in realtà qualcosa.

Mangiare, dormire, andare al ristorante, incontrare amici, andare a ballare, studiare, leggere e lavorare. E' tutto questo all'altezza di essere chiamato V-I-T-A? E' vivere solo questo?

Voglio capire di più e chiedermi se questa è una domanda che ha un senso o io sto impazzendo!?

Leggo Mandela e la sua vita: una vita vissuta nella lotta e lottando per un popolo che non esisteva, che non aveva umanità, sentimenti, rabbie e paure, una vita vissuta non per sè o per la sua famiglia, ma per persone estranee?, una vita lottando giorno dopo giorno per la libertà del popolo Sudafricano.

E io mi chiedo: “Per cosa sto lottando, che vita sto conducendo, Ne vale la pena?”

La mia spontanea risposta è: “NO” Tina, manca qualcosa, manca qualcosa di grande.

Tempo fa qualcuno mi ha insegnato che per vivere bisogna avere un piano, un progetto. Oggi penso questo non sia abbastanza.

Mi giro e mi rigiro, la mia anima non è in pace oggi e non sono sicura di poterla accontenare proprio oggi.

Creare! Si, devo comiciare a creare, come mi ha consigliato un amico alcuni mesi fa.

Significa, quindi, che fino ad ora non ho creato nulla? Neanche un'amicizia? E cosa significa creare, realmente?

Puoi creare senza mezzi, senza soldi, senza?

E poi, siamo tutti nati per creare? O in realtà tutti creiamo pur non sapendolo? O creano solo gli artisti e i rivoluzionari?

E noi poveri mortali, la nostra vita può essere chiamata vita, pur alzandoci tutte le mattine per andare a lavoro? Un lavoro appena trovato che durerà forse 3 mesi o un lavoro che facciamo da 20 anni.

Sono confusa.

Sono nella stazione dei treni di Cape Town, seduta su una panchina e attendo il mio treno per l'Università. Osservo altri treni arrivare dai quali una massa di persone fluire verso la città. Un popolo, fatto grazie ad un solo uomo! O quasi. Una vita vissuta per il suo popolo, sicuramente, la sua.

Nelson Mandela è il simbolo della nascita, della libertà, della lotta. La maggiorparte di quello che si racconta, che si legge, è datato 1994, l'anno in cui Mandela è diventato Presidente del Sud Africa.

Mi viene in mente “Tina” il libro di Cacucci su questa donna triestina, rivoluzionaria in Messico e penso al concetto di rivoluzione.

La parola rivoluzione mi sembra il termine adatto per una vita all'altezza di essere vissuta.

5 anni fa, nel giorno della mia laurea, nel bigliettino annesso al fiore offerto ai presenti scrivevo “Ora mi accingo alla scoperta della mia isola”.....

mhmhhm....

Oggi scrivo “alla scoperta della rivoluzione che farà della mia vita una vita all'altezza di essere vissuta”.

Im not racist but...

The hypocrisy of two words, even worst, the hypocrisy of a only sentence: “ I am not racist”. A status I AM, a non status I AM NOT, a sentence used to create a mask to hide under, which says who I AM NOT, but not who I AM. A defensive approach starting by “ I am not a racist, but blacks and coloureds ...”. The first part says that it is not related to race, the second one, in contradiction, pronounces the words blacks and coloureds!!!!! Do not make you thinking?

The beautiful faces and shapes of things always comparable to the Western, hide the reality, the ugliest; in the middle a perfect incomprehensibility, a negation, a no. We do not want them around.

Beautiful houses, beautiful cars, clothes, beautiful dogs and then...

While a friend and I were chatting, after a nice dinner at the Mozambican Restaurant, just in front of my house, a beautiful woman came out from her house with a bed mood in her face. Before to let her say anything we were already excusing ourselves to be maybe too loudly. She just ignored our words and in a brutal tone she asked “What are you doing here?”. “Sorry, I live here” I said. And she continued “ Yes, but what are you doing here?” My smile disappeared from my face trying to understand, but she still kept on talking “ I need to let my dog out”. A huge dog was standing beside her. “Is it dangerous?” I asked trying to not lose my calm and after she answers “ It should not be”, she walked in, leaving the dog in the yard.

I could not believe, my eyes neither my ears, and in few minutes I walked into my house too. If there was a white couple there outside, chatting, as many times had already happened, she would not say one word, but the mix, a white and a black is confusing, a black couple talking in the same road is unacceptable.

Maybe I am exaggerating, I hope so!.

I have found a job as a receptionist in a backpacker for 20 R. per hour (2 euro per hour) and I am actually happy. The next morning I woke up early and I go.

…..
…..

“ I think you should also know how to deal with different people....I am not racist, Tina, but, you know blacks and coloured we use to put them in the 2 rooms which we have at the ground floor....you know, to keep an eye on them...” Form the other side of the room, the manager of the backpacker is smiling at her, proud of what he was listening to.

Blacks are always at the back, the white one will come and check or double check if the work is done or how. No smiling, no humility, no respect. And I felt bad and sorry.

I cannot I can not compromise myself anymore, I can not accept this and I am tired of listening to this I AM NOT RACIST BUT...................enough!!!!

Be responsible and ask yourself what you are!!!

White fathers and mothers saying that they are not racists but their children do not go out with black kids, their daughter do not date a black guy, they do not have black friends; black or coloured is the lady cleaning their house off course, or the nanny of their children.????

At the restaurant whites eat and blacks serve!!!!

Yet!!! Most of the time.

Is the situation changing? Yes? Maybe? Not?
Is the mentality and the culture changing? Yes, not, maybe... but we need much more time.

A friend of mine invited me for a play, a satyric political Indian play called “The Lahnees's Pleasure”, written and directed by Mr. Ronnie Govender.

I started to watch the play, about Indians living during the apartheid...in really few words (Mr. Ronnie is going to forgive me!). I started to be interested: in the audience almost everybody was Indian, then 2 old white couples, a single white man, and me. All Indians were laughing from the beginning, while the white people were looking at the play like a reality were living not many years ago and now having in front of them in a shape of a ghost.

The past is not yet a past and not everybody is ready to laugh about it.

We need time, but are we building a better society, living and keep our children living our own life, without any share, without walking the path of the difference????

I have been teaching in the Italian school a Maputo for 2 years and I remember how I felt upset and sad when my students went on Wikipedia to do a research about Maputo....I could not understand...then I just thought...off course...they do not know the reality around, their parents are afraid to show them the difference, the condition which other kids live in, starting from the periphery of the capital city.

There are people who never have jumped in a Chapa, never have smelt the “difference”....It is easy to judge from outside: they are ignorant, they are stupid, they are lazy...and we? We were born, me I was born with a status, and although from a not rich family I have had all the possibility to study, to work and study and now write these words.

Sorry I am not a racist but whites should think twice before to say I am not racist but blacks and coloured!!!!

Vivete la vita!!!

Tina

CAPE 1 month!


It has almost been a month since I left Mozambique and many experiences had already happened to myself.

I left Mozambique crying inside more than outside: the luggages I had closed few hours before were full of life, a life I did not want to leave there. The life re-born myself, made me aware of many different qualities I have, accepting the bad ones and carrying on into this amazing journey called life, making me happy everyday, day by day.

In Mozambique I have lived my childhood: a fantastic experience I would never forget. Family, friends, lovers are part of who I am now. All the people who came to my life, all the people I have met, the ones who know that they have changed my life in a positive way.

Somebody few days ago asked me what it means for me being happy. For him it was, he said, love and to be loved. I answered that for me it is waking up in the morning, seeing the Sun raising and live a life I want to live with no regrets, no I could not do it, no but.

One of you, before to leave and move here in Cape Town have told me to start to fly: yes we can fly if we want!!! Just believing in ourselves!

Off course negative things are going to happen too, like my cloned debit card and all my savings from Mozambique gone in only 10 days, but what can I do, kill my self?

Still one of you again use to say that money are only energy, a way to get trough things, they are a tool, not the aim. But not for everybody it is the same!

Yes I left Mozambique, I left the colors of that amazing Country, the smell, the noises which I used to feel and which I started to recognize after a while. The MOZAMBICANIDADE you can experience only going to Mozambique and trying to get into the culture, from inside. Stop travelling around as a tourists and taking pictures like crazy Japanese. Just stop, think where you are, think again that you are in a Country where you were not born, but still it can re-born you again in another person, opening your mind to other people, uses, costumes and way of life.

ISCH, YOUWE, AWENA, KANIMAMBO, BATER UM PAPO, TOMAR UM COPO, TOU A BAZAR, TOU A PEDIR, E' CASADA, ATRAçADO, CHAPA...how can you understand this words only travelling? You simply cannot! We can complain about many things just because they are different from the way we think. We can complain, I do not want to. Or maybe I will, I did somehow when it gets too much unsustainable for me I will, but first I will enjoy.

I have left Mozambique, and I cannot hear anymore from my window people shouting from the cells, the tape machine TIC TIC TIC and AKM 47 TCICIC TCICIC!!!!!!!! My big house, my garden, all of you, who made me crying, who made me laughing, who made me angry or hungry)))., who made me love, who loved me, and who didnt like me.....mhmhhm!!! Who hurt me and who just tried to understand who I am and what I feel, friends, not friends.........my bicycle...the freedom to feel life as a warm wind in your face, days, nights, dancing, and then seeing the sun rising o the sun setting from MIRADOR o COSTA DO SOL.

The childhood just ended........new chapter is coming!!!

Now seagulls and birds!! Big nature, sea, mountains, city, crowded or empty.....You can decide!!!

Now I know, looking to my picture, that moving here...I needed...new ideas, new energies, new feelings, and fear at the same time. This Country is a microcosm and a lot to discover and to experience.

From outside ...its quite impossible to image to live in other contexts...or black, or white or coloured!!!! Its not easy to find a mix!!! Real one. And so different from Mozambique....TOU PEDIR has been substituted to SOME CHANGE PLEASE! The MAGIA MoçAMBICANA disappeared!!!Smiling faces, beautiful shapes, big expressive eyes...PUFF!!!! I observe and find sadness, hard and strong features.................

I went to visit Good Hope Cape and see how we are nothing in compare to the amazing nature surrounding us. The 2 Oceans meet and the water strongly hurts the rocks, which million of years ago were linked to the American coasts. Winds blowing at high speed and colourful flowers, beautiful plants became solid as soft.

I went to dance salsa and listen to Cape Jazz into the coloured suburbs on a Tuesday night till 4 in the morning.

I went to Guguleto, no actually its wrong....ok Guguleto is one of the poorest settlement around Cape Town. Nobody goes there...to dangerous. But 5 years ago a man, the owner of a butchery had the great idea of transforming the butchery into a small MERCADO DO PESCE em Maputo, but here you only buy and eat meat....in Guguleto...every Suday whites people go there to feel the emotion to be in a black area and enjoying the same use...alchool and meat and music...yes there is a DJ from 11 a.p. Till 11 p.m. But you only stay there, no one street before, not after!!!

Jogging to Seapoint when the sun is setting is amazing....colours and energy from the water, the sun.....

The weather can change in 5 minutes, it depends where you are, I which area of the city, from warm and sunny, to cold and freezing, to windy, to rain and back to the Sun.....

I started to do an intern with a Community Law Centre preparing an assessment for a Conference about how South Africa is implementing different Treaties and Convention on Human Rights level.

Today I am gong to visit Pollsmouth Prison, 370 women detained, some with children...its one of the best prison in the Country in terms of organization, services, assistance....I am going to tell you later on!!!

And I found a job!
The minimum rage is 7 R. per hour....a loaf of bread costs 8 R!!!
I found a job for 20 R. as a receptionist..............))))((((

Laughing, smiling or crying is, in the end, only 2 opposite way to answer to event happening in life. I can cry and smile and the same time too!!!

But in the end its important who we are and what we feel more than the money we earn and we spent????

Continuing on my journey and keep in touch with you guys....

lots love

TINA

Vivete la Vita!!!

Moçambicanidade

Moçambicanidade

Ser estrangeira num outro Pais è uma emoção continua: os olhos vejam, as orelhas ouçam, o nariz sente, as mãos tocam, os pés caminham, o corpo vive, e a boca saboreia...novas formas, novos sons, novos cheiros, novas superfícies, novos caminhos, novas emoções, novos sabores.
A anima descobre novas animas.

Os olhos vejam chapas, mulheres formosas, rabos africanos, homens magros, olhos expressivos, ruas com buracos grandes, o sol nascer, crianças lindas, a pobreza, a riqueza da cultura, coqueiros, praias, o mar, as cores fortes, pessoas que falam animadas, capulanas, bichas que não são respeitadas, policia corrupta, baldes na cabeça, caranguejos, terra vermelha, crianças nas capulanas nas costas das mães, palhotas, prédios, carros, bicicletas, machibombos, corpos que se tocam na indiferença, céu azul, corpos que dançam

As orelhas ouçam EPA, ISH, IOUE, PA, OVLA, AUENA, BOM DIA, BEM, OBRIGADO, SIM, TA CORRER, EMPURRANDO, CORRERIA, BOM, LICILE, português, changane, ndau, bitonga, sena, ingles, DAQUI A NADA, TOU A VIR, JA VENHO, DIZ LA, DAQUI A 7 MINUTOS, DAQUI A 3 MINUTOS, ATE JA, ATE MUNZUCU, ATE MANHA, FAZER O QUE, PAPAE, MAE, DESCULPE LA, VAMOS EM BORA, TOU A PEDIR, TOU A BAZAR, TOU A FERRAR, JA CONSEGUISTE, SELA, AHHH VOCE, QUERE O QUE, LOBOLO, ENGRAVIDEI, CURANDEIRO, JA VOU, KANIMAMBO. O pau que pila, a marrabenta,

O nariz sente o cheiro do lixo, da xixi, do suor no chapa, do sabão, de matapa, de amendoim cuzito, de maçaroca, da poluição, de pão fresco, de cerveja, de caril, do sexo apena consumado, das mexas, dos rastas, da xima, do frango assado, das batatas fritas, das bajias de manha, de roupa lavada com Homo, de roupa usada que vem de Europa, de peixe, da terra, do mar, de cidade, do mato, da cera no chão, de capim, da madeira, do batuque

As mãos tocam o pau preto, o sândalo, a pele obscura, a pele mais clara, lábios grandes, chapas, mãos, papaia, mangas, cocos, areia, capulanas, batuque, meticais, maças, 5 meticais, corpos, sensualidade, sexualidade, cabelos, arte, o vento, o calor,

Os pes caminham ruas, praças, vias, cidades, matos, jardins, florestas, montes, chapas, praias, dias, noites, tardes, casas, escritórios, igrejas, avenidas, a baixa da cidade, MAPUTO, BEIRA, INHAMBANE, MAXIXE, TETE, PEMBA, CHIMOIO, NAMPULA, QUELIMANE, ILHA DE IBO, ILHA DE MOÇAMBIQUE, poeira,

O corpo vive um sorriso, o amor, o chorar, encontros, despedidas, chegadas, linchamentos, festas, danças, funerais, conversas, BATER UM PAPO, TOMAR UM COPO, não conseguir fazer uma coisa no tempo pensado, o atraco, a emoção das palavras de uma canção, do por do sol, dum peso na cabeça, de uma criança a pedir na rua, de uma criança que vende amendoim na rua à 10 anos até 23 horas de noite, de prostitutas, a não fidelidade de um homem, as mentiras, a felicidade, a corrupção, a cadeia, a religião, a moçambicanidade, o bater dum homem sobre uma mulher, a violência, os abraços, as noites, os dias, as tardes, tempo sentado na esteira, corpos borrachos nas ruas, gordura das mulheres, a magreza dum homem, o brincar de crianças nas ruas,

A boca saboreia uma maçaroca as 18 horas, amendoim depois algumas cervejas, um beijo, lábios carnosos, agua com Certeza, chá, matapa, arroz com caril, um frango assado à zambeziana, castanhas, pão fresco e bajia, piri-piri, carne, peixe, prego no pão, batatas, mangas, papaias, salada com olho e vinagre, ainda um beijo, laranjas, mentas, açúcar, ovos, bolachas, carapau, areia, quiabo, coca cola, fanta, fanta laranja, fanta uva, mandioca, Laurentina, 2M, Sura, coco, ainda um beijo, xima, camarões,
A anima descobre a felicidade moçambicana, o perder com facilidade a própria criança, ver a morte não com crueldade, a vida que continua, a luta que continua, a importância da agua, do calor, da natureza, do cumprimentar e do despedir, de um OLA e de um TCHAO, de um sorriso e de um abraço, dos encontros, da diferencia em se um BRANCO o um NEGRO, da igualdade em ser UM SER HUMANO,

Ser uma estrangeira em Moçambique é descobrir a moçambicanidade.

Love after love!!

LOVE AFTER LOVE
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

Queremos ver as nossas ideias glogalizadas,
queremos ver as nossas cidades globalizadas,
queremos ver o desenvolvimento globalizado,
queremos ver os predios globalizados,
queremos ver as pessoas globalizadas?

Eu nao quero me globalizar
eu nao quero globalizar a milha alma
eu nao quero globalizar as minhas ideias
eu nao quero globalizar os meus pensamentos

Eu nao quero viver em Maputo como se estivessi em New York.
Se o queria simplemente ia para là.
Mas decidi de viver aqui e nao quero que isso seja como lì

Qual é a ideias destes arquitectos?

Mudar o mundo e o faze-lo igual

Construir é a primeira necessidade.
Temos de construir porque somos no pos-modernismo
no modernismo

E a nossa Terra?
Alguem esta pensar o nunca pensou na nossa Terra?

Onde esta a natureza
onde estao as arvores, o verde

Tudo é em construçao

Abater por criar monstros.

Porque ninguem fala alto e grita o rispeito da Cultura, o rispeito do Lugar, do Ambiente, da Humanidade?

O desenvolvimento, palavra criada para todo nos termos um carro de luxo, uma casa de luxo, luxo. So isso é importante.

Mostrar que esta acabando a pobreza absoluta.

Eu vejo so aumentar a pobreza interior de todos nos.

Vejo a publicidade de um Banco international a dizer “Globalizamos as nossas ideias para um mundo melhor”

Agora temos globalizar tambem as nossas ideias.

Eu nao quero as minhas ideais globalizadas e globais.

Quero ser eu, com as minhas ideias, os meus pensamentos, o meu olhar a cidade, sentir os cheiros, ouvir ruidos particulares,
Estamos a desenvolver, porque estamos a ficar uguais aos outros Paises, com os mesmos erros, o mesmo individualismo, o mesmo chiume, o mesmo traffico, o frio, o nao pensar, ou deixar aconteçer aquele que aconteçe, como agua em cima de um guardachuva.

Olho a minha Italia e nao me identifico com ela.
O meu Bel Paese, o Pais que combateu para ser aquele que era, os ideais, as lutas para ganhar algo, os valores, o ser activo, o ter paixao,

A paixao, os valores, as lutas, as ideias, deixaram lugar para a passividade, a nao acçao, a indiferencia,

Olho este mundo e riu-me porque sou feliz

Mas nao consigo pensar a porcaria que este mundo esta sindo, dia cada dia.

E tento olhar sempre pela positividade, pelo rios das crianças, das mulheres deste lindo Pais.

Sinto-me sem forças, sem energias, quando em verdade quero uma rivoluçao, um voltar ao mundo, a terra, aos homens humanos.

Temos ter filhos que aprendem muitas linguas, que fazem muitas coisas, que tem o tempo ja fixado, ja decidido. Tambem a infancia deixou de ser o tempo das brincadeiras.

Temos de falar Ingles, temos de saber utilizar o computador, temos que fazer isso o aquilo, mas os nossos sonhos, os desejos, aquelo que queremos fazer.

Nao é possivel nesta jungla.

Muitas igrejas cuji creer e poca humanidade.

Vivo o presente, nao sei o futuro e nao o procuro.

Interessa me o hoje.